Demi Allah

Demi Allah,

Saya sayang beliau.

Semoga Allah jadikan kami jiran didalam Syurga Allah nanti.

Mohon Allah sentiasa berkati kehidupan beliau dan keluarga.

Mohon Allah kekalkan ukhwah kami.

Walaupun saya kata Bukit Kayu Hitam dekat Johor, beliau dengan bersahaja gelakkan saya dan pujuk saya supaya jangan stress sangat.

:') Allah
Saya sayang beliau.

Sangat sangat.

Too Much

Assalamualaikum..

Kekadang, kita tak sangka pun kita akan buat sesuatu yang kita tak pernah jangka kita akan buat.

Yes, sometimes, we have gone too much.
We have gone too far.
Leka sampai tak ada yang sedar kita dah jauh sangat pergi.
Tak ada yang boleh tarik kita, selamatkan kita.
Masa tu, satu je tempat kita nak minta bantuan.
ALLAH.

Orang kata, bila dah susah, baru nak cari Allah.
Tapi, better kita ada rasa nak kembali daripada tak ada rasa langsung. Ya bukan?

Tan Sri sangat baik. Saya..speechless.
I have caused so much pain for us. Yet, you still forgive me and say nice and soothing words to me.
I couldn't ask for more.
If it is destined for us to reach that very destination, I am very much grateful.
Kalau tak sampai ke penghujung perjalanan, mohon Allah kurniakan Redha.

Tan Sri asked me to listened to this.

Sami Yusuf, Make Me Strong.

Terima Kasih Tan Sri.

Define MA #1

Assalamualaikum..

Salam bahagia koraaang..!

Aie, saya tahu awak tak suka orang guna Salam Bahagia, tapi saya nak guna jugak harini :D

I am currently having MASTERS DILEMMA. I wanted to label it as REGRET sebenarnya but that doesn't sound optimistic at all. In fact, I did not regret pun my decision to pursue my study up to this level. Mengada-ngadalah kalau nak regret bila dah start sekarang ni. Memang nak mintak kena marah dari banyak pihak laaah. Haha. Tak. Tak. Tak menyesal pun. Alhamdulillah sebab Allah bagi peluang ni pada saya :)

I would say that the curiosity within has been awakened by now. It is only the first week of the  semester but I am very much overwhelmed with everything. Every single thing. I am soooo curious to know what will happen next. Baru first week dah rasa macam nak nangis..camana la the upcoming weeks nanti. Mungkin akan tersenyum bahagia? Hee.. mari ber-wishful thinking. As days passed by, I have realised that MA programme requires one to actually strive for the best.
Memang takleh nak bermalas-malasan dah macam time degree dulu.

You hate reading? Then do not continue up to this path.
You are tired of doing research? Then..it will be hard for you to live a life.
T_T taak tipu nii......

My dilemma is just...nak continue ke nak stop. Bhahaha.. teruknya perangaai. Just because of Research Methods punya subject, I am all drained and strained and.. *insert more dramatic words* kakaka.

Oklah, to cut things short, semua orang harus ada satu perkara penting ni sebelum nak sambung MA in Literature; in fact in any MA programmes, which is:

                     
                      KNOW what YOUR PASSION is.
Aaand...
               HAVE A TOPIC in mind :)


SO......during your undergraduates, try to look at possible and interesting and manageable and potential topics for research purpose :) if you have already decided on what to talk about and what to write for your thesis or dissertation, then...you are SAFE AND SOUND!

Kalau tak ada pun tak apa....but it can be a real pain for you because you will have to find a suitable topic in a hurry and in a rushing and in a very....unpleasant environment and mood. Haha. (which I am experiencing currently).

And to define Masters is the need to have a good networking with people around you. See.... Tengok.... Betapa Islam pun dah tekankan tentang ini dan ianya tidak tertakluk hanya untuk definisi Masters sahaja. To have a good network and strong relationship with others is actually a bonus for you! One thing that is most important about this is the fact that they will be willing to pray for you! Don't you underestimate the power of Du'a. Doa itu adalah senjata Mu'min. Hopefully Allah will make us be one of the Mu'mineen.

For now, I just have this to be delivered in here. Ah..I dah muntahkan segalanya in here in the most simplest form. Bhahaha. It has just been a week and my brain is almost reaching to the 'fatigue' state. (Hiperbola ni..hiperbola).

Salam Sayang dan..

Assalamualaikum ^_^

It is always a pleasure to help your loved ones. Especially when they are in need of help or assisstance. Feeling bila kita tahu ada orang nak tolong angkat kita bila kita jatuh tu rasa sangat berharga. Berharga hanya bila kita tahu betapa sakitnya kalau jatuh tapi kena bangun sendiri.

Helping hand...kalau tak ada..Sakit kan?

Saaaakit...

Atau..katakanlah, you just went through a disastrous day and felt like there is no more hope to move on and that you have no other options or even back up plans..and your life will be completely ruined kalau tak boleh selesaikan masalah yang sedang membelenggu kita..laptop kita kena virus, assignment yang nak kena hantar esok pagi jam 8, dah hilang sebab kena virus dan kita tak ada back up langsung..langsung tak ada..dan sekarang dah jam 2 pagi..beberapa jam lagi nak pukul 8..dan kita dah panik tahap nak botakkan kepala dengan hanya sekali rembatan.......dan TIBA-TIBA...datang sorang kawan offer nak bantu kita redo our assignment. Kawan suruh kita rehat, dia yang berpuli-puli siapkan kerja kita.

Subhanallah..! *tarik nafas legaaaaa*

Allah...indahnya kalau ada kawan yang berhati mulia macam tu kan?

Tapi kalau kawan yang macam tu tak ada...?

*hujan lebat kilat petir guruh banjir*

Tengok. Penting tak amalan bantu-membantu?

Penting..

Tapi..jangan lupa..apa pun yang jadi, kita ada Allah :) jadi, tak bolehlah hilang harapan dan rasa macam tak boleh nak bawak bertenang kan? Sebab bila kita yakin dengan Allah, Allah pasti akan bantu kita.

Baiknya Tuhan kita :')

Oleh itu, selagi kita mampu, bantulah orang keliling yang memerlukan bantuan. Tak rugi tolong orang ni. Allah suka :)

Memang peringatan untuk diri sendiri jugak ni T_T

The Truth

It was a fine day. Registration at UPM went well, Alhamdulillah. Didn't expect something big was coming on that day. I was thinking that Tan Sri will have lunch with me and send me back after we have settled the registration process. But something else happened.

We didn't go back right after UPM was settled. Tan Sri brought me to a mosque near their family's house and asked me to join for a Jenazah prayer. It was a friend of Tan Sri who died earlier on that day. Innalillahi wa inna ilaihi raji'un. Tan Sri did mention to me about that friend who died because of a car accident when we were waiting at the registration counter. Tapi, to my fikiran, tak sangka dia akan bawak pegi attend solat jenazah tu. Ok. Takpe. It wasn't a big issue after all. Apa salahnya kita tunaikan fardhu kifayah kan? Cuma, it was a bit shocking for me lah. sebab sudden kot. huhu.

At the mosque, it was pretty late for us to pray zohor sebab registration took a very long time. So, we prayed and it came to my knowledge that jenazah masih belum dimandikan. Alhamdulillah, sempat la Tan Sri nak jemaah sama solat jenazah nanti. So..saya pun boleh join sekali (ini sangat mendebarkan sebab dah lama tak buat solat jenazah).

While waiting, a crowd suddenly walked towards the place where I was sitting at that time, which was at the entrance of the female's prayer hall. And I saw them carrying the jenazah yang baru lepas dimandikan into the female's prayer hall. Ada makcik-makcik near me pushed me inside and I ended up sitting very close to the jenazah. very close. memang I can see the jenazah right in front of my naked eyes.

I was terrified. Masa tu serius tangan menggigil, dahi berpeluh. Bukan takut sebab jenazah tu ke apa. Tapi takut sebab... Realiti Mati depan mata.

Satu je perkara yang rewind dalam kepala time tu : Mati itu Pasti.

Macam-macam perasaan ada time tu. Rasa nak menangis adalah perasaan paling susah nak control waktu tu. Memang fikir macam-macam sangat waktu tu.

Macam mana kalau aku tak sempat bertaubat dan mati?

Dah bersedia ke aku nak menghadap Allah?

Apa rasanya ahli keluarga yang lain kalau mereka dalam situasi yang sama?

Hati rasa hiba sangat bila tengok family members budak tu sedih, nangis2.
Waktu tu la kepala nak recall balik adab-adab bila tengok jenazah.
Waktu tu la nak ingat balik apa perlu buat time-time macam ni?
Bercampur baur rasa.

I saw Tan Sri from far.
Rasa sayu tengok dia.

And as expected, Tan Sri sampaikan pesanan beliau pulak lepas balik dari masjid tu. Serius rasa nak pecah empangan air mata. Tan Sri kata tak salah kalau cakap pasal realiti mati. Persediaan katanya.
Tapi, memang telinga taknak dengar statement "Kalau saya meninggal dunia dulu...". (But I listened to it anyway. Takleh lari dah. Kena dengar jugak).

And that day, the whole day, the whole conversation between me and Tan Sri made me realized that Mati itu Pasti dan kita memang kena buat persediaan. Dunia ni tempat singgah kita je.

Anda sudah bersedia untuk bawa bekalan nak jumpa Allah?

isk. isk. T_T

Coming Back

Assalamualaikum..

Hi everyone..! Apa khabar? Semua sihat? Iman baik? Solat teratur? hee.. I have always been like this since I first started blogging. I rarely update my blog and I feel extremely negative when coming back here again. Whatever-lah. Kick all the negativity..iyaah..! 

A lot has been going on in my life. There will be no more updates on IIUM life. (Macamlah I talk a lot about UIA in here kan. Padahal tak ada pun. Hahah! ) Yes. I am now an ex-UIA-an. Alhamdulillah. Couldn't express more; the state of my happiness; except by praising Allah and thanking HIM for all the blessings that He has given to me. And to us. Yes. 

Count your blessings! ^_^

Alhamdulillah. Now that I have finished my journey dekat UIA, I will now be pursuing my next stage of education at UPM. Tadaa..! The place that I have never think of before. Pergh. Kalau sebelum ni I just wanted to come to UPM to take a look at all the kambings and their trees,tiba-tiba sekarang I am a student in UPM! Naah...ambik. hehe. 

2 months of holiday dah buat my brain rusty to the max. Thanks to the strong vibe of lazi-ness. Adehh. Why laah people cannot be istiqamah in doing good things and practicing good habits? Based on my readings, among the reasons why people cannot cope being istiqamah is because of sins. All the sins and maksiat that people do will block themselves from being istiqamah.Next on the list is because of lack of determination and motivation. Motivation..haaaa...

Astaghfirullah. So, peringatan untuk diri sendiri dan those who are reading this, check balik kita ada buat dosa apa. Pasaipa laa susah sangat nak istiqamah kan. Muhasabah diri balik. Phew. 

"Allah suka orang yang usaha" - E, 2013

Jadi, untuk menjadi seorang yang istiqamah, kenalah usaha. Kan?

Moga Allah sayang!

^_^