Mistakes

Lessons learned.
Finally.

Hesitations lead to my destruction.
She told me to speak the truth
but I refused to.
She told me, by being straightforward,
it helps a lot in living this life well.
But I refused to.

I guess, I am just too stubborn to listen to her.
But, I know that one day, that stubbornness will eat my flesh and soul slowly.
I will literally be dying early if I choose to keep things in heart.

One day,

She confronted me.
I felt super awkward and scared at the same time.
Yes. I hate confrontation.
Because I 'love' to avoid taking risks.

Unfortunately, I cant run no more.
She wont leave me alone till she gets the explanation.

I was hesitating at first.
Yes. Hesitations, again.

So, There I sat, facing her, heart's pounding.
I said it.
I let it out.
I told her the truth.

Phew.
LEGA RASANYA. Says I.

You'll never enjoy your life,
if you choose to live inside a box.
Yes. I am so afraid of taking chances.
Am underestimating myself again.
which is a bad thing to do.

SO..
lessons learned,

1. Get rid of negative vibes.
2. Learn to think before you speak.

If you are patient enough, I am certain that I can make you feel proud of me.
And I will definitely be proud of myself.

THANK YOU for being such a wonderful person.

Credits to:
Queen Ketam and
Manisha.
YOu guys are awesome!

Lessons learned,
Fathi.

The Perfect Gift

Close your eyes
And I will sing a song for you
I will always be there
I will always love you.

And while you’re dreaming
I will row your boat ashore
I will always be there for you.

Across the sky and back again
we get torn and who knows when
my heart had begun to melt
all because of you.

I still fall apart
when you are in my arms like this.
You gave me the perfect gift.

Don’t be scared to face your fears.
Don’t be scared to spread your wings.
Don’t be scared to share your tears.
Cause love is everything.

When you are dancing,
don’t forget to dance alone.
I will always be there
if you remember all of this.

You’ll give me the perfect gift.
You gave me the perfect gift.

-The Canadian Tenors-

For the past five months,
I listen to this song repeatedly.
It is a very slow song.
I like the sound of the piano in this song.
I try to relate the lyrics of this song to my life.

Actually, this song is meant for Christmas celebration, if I am not mistaken.
But, you can simply adjust the lyrics and adapt it to your own situation.
As simple as that.
Kan?

Indeed, every single day is a perfect gift from Allah.
When you wake up from a long sleep,
When you get to eat good food,
When your friend is smiling her sweetest smile to you,
When you get to breathe without difficulties,
When you are in the best of health,
When you feel happy and at ease,
When you get to hear your parents voice,

ALL of them is a PERFECT GIFT!

Thank You Allah for the gift of my life today.
=) I feel blessed.

Much Love,
Fathi.

Happy Birthday, Best Friend

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.
Assalamualaikum.

Today is 22nd of November 2011.
My best friend is now 20 years old.
I went to visit her blog just now and read her latest post.
She was saying goodbye to her teenhood.
It is very interesting to read her latest post.
It makes me think. Really. It does make me think.

She is very wise I can say.
I am 21 but I am not that wise.
I am ashamed.
Time, I shall use you well to be a wise person.

Happy Birthday, friend. I love you.
You're still like an adik to me =)
Adorable little thing.
Be happy and be healthy!

Love, Fathi.

Move On

Things to do today:
1. Move on.
2.Smile
3. Buy myself a birthday present.
4. Print a nice planner or a calendar and get myself organized.
5. Repeat #2

4P?

 

“Pergh. Panic. Paranoid. Psycho. I shall call you 4P? Okay.Okay. Jangan jadi r-e-t-a-r-d-e-d okeh.”

Read the above statement?

Okay, let’s make a reality check.

Panic. Yes, I suffered from panic attack disorder.

But that was like years ago. Now, Alhamdulillah I am recovering.

(I admit I always got panic especially when I am late for something)

Okay, next. Paranoid.

Since when am I a paranoid person?

I have no answer for this. Need to make an observation on this. (Ish...paranoid pulak dah.)

If it is true that I am a paranoid person, I really need to find a solution.

Last but not least, a psycho.

Ahaha. Everyone is a psycho in their own ways. Right?

Conclusion, I am not a 4P.

Ya Allah, please forgive me for the wrongs I have done.

Patah Tumbuh Hilang Berganti

Pokok yang patah, akan tumbuh pucuk yang baru.

Barang yang hilang, akan digantikan dengan yang baru.

Rambut yang digunting pendek, akan panjang semula.

Air yang habis, boleh ditambah dengan air yang baru.

Nasi yang habis, boleh ditanak nasi yang lain.

Hati yang patah, akan tumbuh harapan baru di akhirnya nanti.

Teman yang hilang, akan digantikan dengan pengganti yang lebih baik.

Kuasa doa, teramatlah besar.

Yakin dan pasti, tiada kecewa.

Aku kecewa pada awalnya.

Ku punya teman. Tetapi mereka hilang, saat diperlukan.

Ku punya harapan. Tetapi ditebang habis oleh manusia tidak punya perasaan.

Percaya. Berharap. Sisa semangat yang tinggal, akan digunakan.

Untuk bangkit semula.

Saat ini, aku punya dua orang teman.

Semoga Allah makbulkan permintaanku.

Untuk bersama mereka hingga akhir waktu.

Syaitan durjana, jangan cuba untuk menyibuk.

Sekali aku percaya, tidak akan goyah dengan izin Allah.

My whole vision was persistence.

I am not quitting.

Random Thoughts (generated while doing Fiqh assignment)

30 October 2011

1.   Heheh. I know. Despite of having not enough time to finish my 15 pages long term paper, I still have the time to let my mind walk and stroll around somewhere I don’t even know where.

2.   I was feeling frustrated yesterday. Both of my beloved friends got infected with virus demam. I have a very strong feeling that it was me who spread the germs to them. 

(Penyebar Virus Bergerak: Anda, Anda dan Anda merupakan salah seorang daripada penjahat ini. Termasuk saya. Haih. Maafkan saya.)

3.   Doing Fiqh assignment is really testing my patience. My fever has now gone (I am very confident to say this eventhough I am not fully cured, yet. This is called as “Positive Thinking”. From my personal opinion, at least. Haha. Aku mahu sihat. Mengaku sihat walaupun suhu badan agak tinggi. Demam..pergilah jauh-jauh..tak larat dah ni nak tanggung kesakitan.)

4.   Muhammad Salih al-Munajjid is a very controversial scholar of our time. I am seriously having hard time writing about him. Silap pilih tajuk ni. Tapi tidak mengapa. Mencuba sesuatu yang menyumbangkan ilmu baru kepada kita bukanlah suatu kesalahan. Kontroversi itu ilmu. Ilmu itu menarik. Yeah.

31 October 2011

1.    A friend of mine sent a message to me:

“Anyway, take it easy. Don’t stress, not good for your health. Plus it’s all duniawi stuff. Do the best that you can.”

Thank you so much, friend. I do appreciate it. Tapi…hm..nevermind.

2.   Assignments are giving me a real headache. Want to know why I am stress? The answer is bad time management with a combination of terrible stress management. Okay. Now, tell me. Siapa yang tak stress tengok kawan baik sendiri tak layan anda bila berjumpa secara berdepan? Drama swasta berada di mana-mana dan pasti akan menyumbang kepada stress. Betul kan?

3.   Saya OK je. Ayat pertanyaan tadi cuma contoh semata.

4.   Soalan yang sama. Kenapa saya stress? Kerana saya penat dan ada banyak kerja. Saya tidak cukup tidur. Oleh itu, badan dan otak telah memberikan tindak balas yang amat hebat. Maka terhasillah stress dan juga penyakit tambahan seperti migraine dan demam panas.

5.   Maaf, teman. Jangan salahkan saya. Saya perlukan sokongan. Bukan kritikan.

6.   Adik-adik dan kawan-kawan yang disayangi Allah sekalian, jauhi sikap suka bertangguh. Ia memakan diri. I promised that you will suffer if you choose to procrastinate. I’ve been there. IT HURTS A LOT! Literally, I was hurting.

7.   Ujian adalah tarbiyah dari Allah. Apakah kita akan sama ataupun sebaliknya.

Jangan difikir derita akan berpanjangan. Harus ada rasa percaya.

Ya. Saya cuba untuk muhasabah diri. Agar tidak hanya memandang pada duniawi.